The Plight & Circumstance of The American Black Girl
Settle in while we chat about Black girlhood
Happy Sunday, suge. I hope your day is going well and that your week will be even better. Something that I’ve discovered as being a newly diagnosed neurodivergent. One of those things have been decision paralysis, because, my goodness, there was so much I want to write about. I’ll do just that, but in time, no need to rush right? Happy to report that I did make a decision! Hence, us being here. Now, I’m pretty sure I mentioned way way back that I was not here to give you a history lesson, that I was really just here because I have something to say, and well today that includes giving you a bit of history. Now, I do want to mention that I usually hate giving history lessons because it feels like I’m only giving them to white folks. Because Black people, fortunately or unfortunately depending on the situation and how you look at it, already know the history.
I’ve begrudgingly accepted that an overwhelmingly large population of white people do not see “Black History” as American History. To be in the year 2024 (which means nothing because time is an illusion, hehe), as a 30 year old women I do expect my peers to at least name 5 notable Black historical figures (insert snl skit here). But baby when I tell you the bar is on the floor? It’s as if, when it comes to the history of Black American’s we are a subgroup, an after thought. Granted our existence in this country and other countries that were populated with Africans with the intention of enslavement; is a symptom of capitalism. In other words.. you know the story, suge. Anyhow, I could unpack the decades of generational trauma caused by the transatlantic slave trade another day, and I will, but today my focus is someone that is often overlooked and unprotected.
There are two things a Black female child is taught the moment she leaves the womb: you are Black and you are a female, the organs you were born with have made you a bringer of life, you are capable of bringing life into the world, based on the makeup of your body. This is already so much to process for a young person. However, the older she gets the more she realizes that because of these facts that she can not control, she has already started the race on a weak foot. Slowly learning through adults and peers that even though she is only 11, her body may mature faster than her counter parts. She just wants to play with her dolls, skate or bike with her friends, and eat her favorite foods. But nearby there are adults that perceive her as grown. Teachers that are quick to dismiss her normal emotions as “angry Black woman” and send her to detention. Even though her schoolmate Jessica had a similar outburst and she in turn got a pass to go and see the school consular.
When I was a freshman in highschool a local girl who lived in the same town as me, confided in me that she hated being Black. You can imagine my shock when I heard this because, exactly, what do you mean? Being Black was something to be prideful about, and I couldn’t understand why she felt this way. I failed to realize, that she, like myself had to BE Black while trying to deal with the normal adversaries of high school.
Conquering puberty, homework, extracurricular activities, crushes, all on top of dealing with systemic racism. While in school, I’ve definitely had my far share of experience with racism, from my white peers, but also my teachers. Oh yes! You read that right. But unfortunelty, that is to be expected. What I did not expect was teachers who look like me to not only not be a source of comfort in trying times but these same teachers to take in part it what seemed like bullying.
Y’all want some tea?? I can recall several moments of Black teachers at my high school doing the opposite of protecting me (matter of fact, one teacher (who was not my teacher!) and had been a family friend had been trash talking me during her class! I barely knew this lady but she had a lot to say about me, chile). I knew at that moment, that I had to be extremely vigilant about the Black women I trusted, because it’s not always white people that the American Black Girl should be concerned of, it’s adults in the Black community. Why is it, when there is a video of obvious grooming behavior, your first thought is to blame the girl? I’ve never understood the belief that children can “control” an adult. What the heck?
When the TikTok went viral, there were MANY women I had known while I still lived in Louisiana, that defended his behavior, and in turn some even blamed the girls for being “too fast.” WHAT. My heart was broken, because at that moment I realized, we might just be doomed as a community (no worries, there was discourse from Black women on twitter that heavily condone his behavior). But my lil slice of heaven, aka, where I grew up. Doomed. Because that was the type of thinking that would not only adultify our girls, but endanger them. Granted, I know for a fact women who think this way have probably been hurt before and did not have someone to protect her; I’m sorry for those wounds you sustained at girlhood, sis. I hope you find solstice and healing, and while you’re doing that you should break the cycle.
In conclusion, y’all know that saying “children are the future” I think it’s a song too. We are doing a great disservice to our own community by not protecting young Black girls. As the adults in their lives, we owe it to them to see to their love, protection and nurture. The strength of our community is reflected upon how we treat our children. There are some parents, that like to think separating a Black girl from her roots, and people that look like her, often putting her in spaces where she is the only brown face in a sea of white. Like ballet classes full of white children, sports like golf and lacrosse where Black children are few and far between. And while you may mean well while doing this, it can also be detrimental to your daughter. I believe that in order for an American born Black girl, can only really thrive if she is given the chance to be amount her peers, then she will be in a safe space, full of others that have a nose, lips and hair like hers.
But in order for her to thrive and live her wildest dreams we as her community need to surround her with love and the utmost protection.