Milk Tea for the Soul
Pursue your bliss!
So here it is, dead of winter and beginning of 2024. I haven’t felt festive in months, literally! With the genocide happening in Palestine and all of the world events that I continue to learn about, ain’t shit to feel festive about sha. Not to mention Black women in this country are still treated like second class citizens and the industrialized prison system still exists. long drawn out negro spiritual sigh.
So here is my obligatory happy new year: Happy New Year, Suge! I hope all your dreams, wishes and resolutions happen this year! New year, same shit, or however that quote goes. To be honest, you don’t need a new year for a “new you” but I’ll get to that shortly. I’ve been contemplating how I wanted to launch MELK into the new year and I did it in a big way! Have you read Ole Hog yet? Chile, my good sis Feby is FED. TF. UP!
This revenge talk reminds me of that saying, “revenge is a dish best served cold”. I’ve personally never sought out revenge; well okay, confession time: when I was younger, my cousin “accidentally” shot me in the stomach with a BB gun, “allegedly” I cut her hair with a pair a scissors, anyway’s I plead the 5th. Any way, I appreciate sweet tea (there’s a difference between iced and sweet, chile) and the occasional cold drink (soda/pop for my readers outside of Louisiana) but a drink I truly enjoy is warm milk tea.
Last year as a gift to my bomb ass momma, we went on a 7 day Caribbean cruise, something new for both of us. Fun fact: my momma is a workaholic, so I booked the cruise and told her to take off because that was the only way she’d come! Anyhow, we were at breakfast one morning, and because it was just the two of us we were seated with other duos. An older white couple that is pretty well traveled, sits next to us, and if you know me or my mom or both of us, you know that we’re pretty bubbly and easy going, so we made light conversation with the couple while making a cup of tea.
I make tea the way my momma and grandma make tea. A tea bag of choice, super hot water, some sugar, and milk; sometimes cream depending on what’s available. Now my grandmother and momma did it to cool their cups of tea down, when it is too hot to drink. I do it for this reason, but also adding milk to tea makes it more creamy. To be honest, I don’t get how you can add milk or creamer to coffee but not tea? Anyhow, I’m making my tea, and the husband asks “would you like coffee with your sugar?” Admittedly, I was being heavy handed on the sugar. The wife then goes, “that’s tea, she drinks tea like your mother”. I thought this was funny, especially when I found out his mom was British. Another time, I was making a cup of tea, and someone said to me “you drink tea like a white lady”. Again, I thought this was funny, and I mentioned that they shouldn’t pass judgements when someone does something out of your ordinary.
If you haven’t figured it out yet, this isn’t really about how one takes their tea, I mean milk tea is delicious and you should definitely try it, like yesterday. It’s about two things: taking risks and self acceptance. Now, I’m not some self help guru chile, but I’ve been told that I give pretty solid advice, and I’ve also been doing the work to improve my relationship with myself. It’s been an appreciative journey, and i highly recommend you get to know yourself.
I’ve had enough lived experiences in my years to be qualified in this area. From many folk projecting their insecurities onto me, dealing with miserable people, selfish people, learning to say no, and not giving an explanation, saying no to people pleasing. Baby, you name it? I got a story for it! My point is - self acceptance is an extremely freeing way to live. Because, to put it plainly - only you can live YOUR life. Not your parents, your partner, your pet, etc. Sure we owe something’s to the people in our lives, depending on the relationship. But if you spend your life for the pleasure and leisure of other folks, I can guarantee you - you’ll look back over your life at some point and be disappointed. Life is passing you by and you’re spending it pleasing others. We all have our quirky habits and traditions that have been passed down from generations to generations, and we should be more accepting of things we don’t understand.
That’s simply unacceptable sha. As you know by now, I have extremely fond memories of my bestie for lefty, aka my grandmother. And of course if you won’t listen to me, you should listen to her, because, the woman knows what she’s talking about! My grandmother would sit to her dinning room table and play spades on her laptop. Whenever I would be GOING THROUGH IT or at least it felt like I was, I would pull up a seat right next to her and go “Nanny, what should I do about this?” And after I was done blubbering about whatever was so big in my world, she would end it with “…but it don’t matter Brya, you gon do what you want to anyway”. And she’d usually follow up with some version of “it’s your life, baby”, chile it really depended on the day, and her mood, and the circumstances.
But either way, both these pieces of advice have helped me pursue my bliss. Because yea, I will do whatever I want to because it is my life and I don’t owe you an explanation about what I do in my life, and the decisions I make concerning MY LIFE.
Listen suge - I’ll leave you with this - I’m not saying to go and blow your life up being reckless and irresponsible. But what I AM saying is if that is what you want to do than do it. Remember that advice that others give you is just a suggestion, you can take it or leave it. But live your life on your terms, fuck what anyone else has to say. Pursue your bliss! I love you - and I’ll see you next time. 🐮
